Even in the silence, June Sims continued serving her husband as she waited for God to answer her prayers.
By Mary May Larmoyeux
For 20 years, their marriage and family seemed solid. June and Lamar Sims raised their children in church and attended a parenting seminar. But the good life began to change when their engaged daughter revealed she was expecting a child.
“That really threw Lamar for a loop,” June recalls. “He thought none of that would happen with our kids.”
Lamar became angry at God. He stopped going to church, didn’t want blessings at meals, and removed pictures of missionaries from the family refrigerator.
The unexpected pregnancy began a series of crises in Lamar’s life. Over the next several years, he had back surgery, two hip replacements, lost his job, and was forced to go on disability. In addition, a child ran away from home, and another daughter went through several years of rebellion.
Lamar’s anger and bitterness increased, and it became more and more difficult for June to be around her husband. Nothing she said or did would please him.
After 34 years of marriage, Lamar said he wanted a divorce. “I don’t love you. I don’t need you. I don’t want you,” he told his wife.
But June still loved Lamar, and she didn’t want to end their marriage. When she refused to divorce Lamar he said, “Well, just leave me alone.”
And so Lamar and June continued living in the same house, but they didn’t speak.
For three years.
“They thought I was being foolish”
During these years of silence, Lamar and June communicated by writing notes to one another and leaving them on the refrigerator door. Even though Lamar did not want a relationship with his wife, he asked her to continue cooking for him. So, after coming home from work, June prepared dinner for him and then ate her meal in her bedroom. This arrangement went on for about two years when Lamar said that he didn’t want June cooking for him anymore.
June continued to wash Lamar’s clothes, cut the yard, and serve him in other ways to prevent herself from becoming bitter. “My poor daddy would come out and he’d just cry, ‘June, why are you doing this?’” Her parents and children (who were now adults) begged her to divorce Lamar. They feared she was in danger and envisioned her living in misery.
“They thought I was just being foolish.” June says. “They’d say things like, ‘God doesn’t want you to suffer like this,’ or ‘God doesn’t work that way,’ or ‘God gives you common sense.’” Although June realized her loved ones meant well, their comments put a lot of pressure on her. She knew she had to please God and believed He wanted her to remain in the marriage.
As June confined herself to her bedroom, she was alone with God and the Word. “I was in His classroom,” she says, “and I had ears to hear. God was in the pruning process in my life.”
In the beginning she thought that her marriage problems were all Lamar’s fault, but as she turned to God she saw ways that she had failed her husband. “I had not put him first,” June says. “I put the kids before him … and church, too.” She also says she didn’t show him proper respect. June realized that she had looked to Lamar to make her happy when true happiness comes from God.
“Keep me in the fire … ”
As weeks turned into months, June focused less on earning Lamar’s love and respect and more on allowing the Lord to shape her into His image. She kept a journal, and one of her entries read:
I’m not going to ask You to shorten the days of my adversity if these days mean knowing You better. If these days mean You’re changing me, keep me in the fire until Your work in me is complete … Just give me the grace and the strength to remain faithful and true in You to glorify You. I want to learn all You want me to learn. I don’t want this to be wasted time.
On another day she wrote: Lord, I cannot change this man but You can change me.
When June found herself dwelling on the things that Lamar had done that upset her she would immedia
No comments:
Post a Comment